Make It or Die Trying
by citysinger13
Summary: Camille thought she had the perfect life-handsome boyfriend, kicking place to live, great friends...but suddenly an ultimatum from her dad has made everything seem so bleak. She has to land a serious role before the end of summer...or it's back to Connecticut. Will she have what it takes? Rated T for possible language and eating disorders.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Big Time Rush or any of its characters.**

"You've just got to relax," came the soothing, calm voice of Jo Taylor from the speakers of the laptop that was perched precariously on two pillows on the bed. When there was no response, Jo spoke up louder. "Camille, are you even still there? Camille!"

With a loud, overly dramatic sigh, Camille through down the dress she was scrutinizing and crawled up onto her bed, in front of her laptop's webcam. Her blonde, beautiful best friend smiled at her from the screen. "Thank you!" Jo grumbled good-naturedly. "What good is video chat if we're not even going to see each other? I could have just called you."

"I know, I'm sorry," Camille sighed. "I just have to figure out what I'm going to wear. This is really important, you know, Jo."

Jo looked slightly puzzled. "You've been on plenty of dates with Logan, you know. He is your boyfriend." Suddenly, Jo seemed to realize something. "Or are you dressing up for the paparazzi that follow him around now, hmm?"

"No!" Camille denied, sounding hurt. "I'm insulted that you would think that about me."

"Okay, okay, sorry I said it," Jo apologized. "You have to admit though…your dating a huge pop star might actually help your acting career."

"I don't want to get jobs because Logan is famous—I want to get them because I deserve them and because the directors and producers and casting agents and all those other _stupid _people recognize that I am the _best_ person for the role!" Camille let out a huff of air in indignation.

Jo smiled. "Another rejection?"

Camille sighed dejectedly. "Third one in two weeks. My dad will never let me stay another year, Jo…I'm afraid of what will happen if I don't land my big break before the end of summer."

Understanding, Jo nodded with support. "Well, it is a tough business. I'm sure—_sure_—that the next audition will be the one though, you just wait." Camille couldn't help but smile back at her friend as she said these encouraging words.

_I've already said them to myself at least a thousand times_.

Jo looked over her shoulder at something Camille couldn't see. "Hey, Camille, my lunch break is ending and I've got to get back to set," she said sadly.

"Right, I forgot, sorry." Jo was talking to her from New Zealand, where it was 12:30 the next day already. "You have fun. Do great, movie star." Jo smiled and waved before the screen went blank.

Camille sighed and shut the laptop with a snap. She went back to where she had dropped her dress and grabbed it again, before tossing it to the bed and pulling another out of her closet.

"Logan! Hey, Logan, can we get a smile?"

"Logan, Logan, can we have one shot?"

"Hey, Logan, is that your girlfriend? Let's get a shot!"

He had barely even gotten out of the car before camera flashes had started. Smiling only slightly, he simply went to open the door for Camille. He took her hand and they started to walk into the cute little restaurant where they were having dinner.

"Logan! One picture, please!" There were only five or six paparazzi, but they were loud enough that it seemed like a red carpet press line. Logan felt his good-natured personality taking hold of him as the photographers called out for "just one photo." He turned to Camille and shrugged awkwardly.

"Do you mind if we take a few pictures?" he asked, hoping that he didn't seem big-headed by posing for paps.

"No, not at all," Camille smiled. "Whatever you want." Logan smiled at her and, placing his arm around her waist, turned to smile at the paparazzi as they snapped their "one" picture (which was more like a hundred each).

Logan held up a hand to wave after a few seconds and nodded agreeably. "Okay, guys, that's it."

"Can we get a shot of Logan by himself?" one photographer called out. She gestured for Camille to move out of the shot. Logan felt his face start to burn with half embarrassment, half annoyance.

"No, pictures of me are always better with my girl in them," he called back to them, forcing a smile on his face. "Thanks guys, but we have reservations." He waved on last time before placing his arm around Camille's shoulders and guiding her into the restaurant's lobby.

He grimaced at her sheepishly. "Sorry about that, Camille. Can you believe that?" He gave his name to the host, who immediately showed them to their table and left them with their menus.

"You know I don't mind," Camille told him. "You could have taken the solo pictures, I really _really _don't mind, Logan."

Logan shook his head. "_I _mind. They're ridiculous—I'm standing next to the most beautiful girl in California, no the _world_, and they want a picture of just me?" He chuckled as he flipped the menu over to look at the back. "Crazy."

Camille didn't answer, and Logan looked up at her. She was studying the menu with such intent that he almost laughed again. "Aren't you going to get the cheeseburger with fries?" he asked her. "You always get a cheeseburger."

Surprisingly, Camille shook her head. "I'm not that hungry," she admitted. "I think I'll just have a salad or something."

"Oh. Okay." Logan glanced at the menu again before remembering something. "Hey! Oh wow I forgot, how was your audition?" He mentally rebuked himself for not having remembered instantly.

"Um…" Camille hesitated, and Logan felt his heart sinking at the sight of her face. "Well, they said they'd call by five if they wanted to see me again and—" Camille checked her small, silver watch. "Well, it's seven, so I think they're not interested."

"Oh…I'm sorry Camille." Logan wanted desperately to be able to make her feel better. "You know you can be in my next music video right?"

"Yeah, you've told me," Camille replied, smiling just slightly. "The only thing is…well, being in music videos only gets someone so far, and I think my dad's sort of figured that out."

Logan was confused. "What do you mean?" The waitress arrived at that moment to take their drink order, so they paused their conversation for a moment and then resumed. "Camille, is your dad giving you a hard time?"

Camille laughed forcibly. "He's my dad; that's his job, right?" Then, Logan saw her chin quiver just the tiniest bit.

"Hey," he soothed, reaching across to grab her hand. "It's okay, what's the matter?"

She sniffed and fluttered her eyelashes a bit in an attempt to stop her tears. "He's basically told me that this summer is it, Logan," she admitted. "If I don't get some role that's more than a few lines in one scene, he said we'll go back to Connecticut before school starts."

The shock of this must have shown on Logan's face. "He's going to make you go back—no, hey, don't cry, Camille." He desperately searched for some way to make this better. "I'll help! I'll get Gustavo to help. I can get you roles, I'm sure."

"See that's what Jo said," Camille sniffed. "I don't want hand-out, charity roles. I want to be an actress, not a celebrity."

"Right," Logan conceded. "Well…hey, Camille, the summer's just started. You'll find some great role in time, don't worry!" She sniffed and Logan immediately pulled out his handkerchief to give to her, which she accepted gratefully and dabbed at her eyes. "You are so amazingly talented and you're the prettiest girl that anyone will ever find. You'll make it."

Camille smiled and started to say something, but someone cleared their throat next to their table. The couple looked up to see a pretty blonde girl of about fourteen standing by, looking interested. She grinned.

"Hi!" she squealed. "You're Logan Mitchell, aren't you? From Big Time Rush!"

"Uh…" Logan hesitated, glancing at Camille, who smiled weakly but encouragingly. He looked back at the fan. "Yes I am."

"Oh my gosh, I am just BTRs _biggest _fan _ever_," she gushed. "And you're my favorite."

"Well, thanks," Logan replied pleasantly.

The girl glanced at Camille. "You're his girlfriend right? I've seen you in magazine pictures with him before." The sight of Camille's red eyes and smudged eyeliner was not lost on the fan. "Are you guys breaking up again?"

"No!" Logan exclaimed. "No, we're together."

The fan only looked a little disappointed. "Okay. Will you sign this? And maybe take a picture?" She held out a crumpled receipt and pen, looking incredibly eager.

Logan cleared his throat and, after another quick glance at Camille, smiled at the teenager. "Sure thing," he agreed, shooting his famous twenty-thousand watt grin at her. "What's your name?"

Camille fiddled with Logan's blue handkerchief while the girl squealed about her name being Mandy or Brandy or Candy or something. She tried very hard to believe what Logan had told her. She would find something. She wouldn't have to leave California. She could make it without anyone else's help.


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Big Time Rush or any of its characters.**

**WARNING: May be triggering.**

Yelling and shouting and loud crashes and bangs had Mrs. Knight running out to the living room of the apartment. "Boys!" she exclaimed. She came in to find Kendall, James, and Carlos all locked in some intense wrestling match. "Hey! _HEY!_" Mama Knight yelled. The boys stopped shouting and looked up. "What is going on out here?" she demanded.

All three of them started talking at once, all of them pushing away from each other and pointing accusing fingers. Mama Knight couldn't understand a word of it. She put her fingers to her temples and shut her eyes. "_QUIET!" _she exclaimed. The three teenage boys shut up instantly and looked at each other guiltily. "I thought you boys were going to watch a movie," Mama Knight said hopelessly.

"We were!" Carlos agreed passionately. "Until _James _decided to be a jerk and _not _want to watch what we wanted to watch—"

"Whoa, hey!" Kendall cut him off. "I didn't want to watch stupid _High School Musical_ either!"

"Why _not_?"

"Because it's _dumb_!"

"You're dumb!"

"_No_, the _movie's_ dumb, Carlitos!" broke in James. "You see, this is why you _never have a girlfriend_."

Carlos gasped. "This is exactly why I _should _have a girlfriend! I'll watch these movies with her!"

"These _dumb_ movies!" James repeated.

"You're just jealous because Zac Efron has better hair than you." Carlos sat by smugly as James gasped with such shock that Mama Knight had to wonder if maybe the boys were performing some sort of soap opera.

"You take that back," James growled.

"Make me!" Carlos' smug look didn't last for long as James launched himself across Kendall and on top of Carlos, the wrestling match restarting as Kendall also dove in to attempt to pull the two apart. Mama Knight just looked on, massaging the knot that was forming on the back of her neck.

The door opened and shut loudly, and Mama Knight jumped, sure it was Mr. Bitters with a noise complaint. "Logan!" she sighed, relieved. "You're back."

"Yeah," Logan said, looking at the tangle of his friends on the floor. He pointed. "What's going on?"

"Something about _High School Musical_," Mama Knight waved off.

"Oh, God, again?" Logan grimaced, and Mama Knight nodded.

"Logan, honey, since I'm not mad at you, cover your ears please," she told him sweetly. Logan dropped his keys on the counter and quickly threw his hands over both his ears.

"_HEEEEEEEEEEEEY!_" The brawling boys sprang apart at the loud and long yell from Mama Knight. "If you three do not _knock it off_, I will take away _all _the movies _and _TV privileges for the next _week_!" Logan smirked at his friends' shocked faces. "Now shut up!" Mama Knight stalked off back to her bedroom. The boys were silent and watched her until they heard her door shut down the hall. Logan took his hands off his ears.

"Why is it that every time I go out, I come back and you guys are getting into trouble?" Logan asked as he grabbed a water bottle from the fridge.

"Because James is a _jerk_!" Carlos attempted to explain, but was silenced with a _look _from Kendall.

"How was the date?" Kendall asked as he pulled himself up from the ground and held out his hands. Logan tossed the water to him and grabbed another for himself. He shrugged as he twisted off the cap and took a gulp.

"It was…fine."

"Paparazzi?" James asked. "I still love that so much…"

"Yes, there were paparazzi, but that's not what it is." Logan sat down at the counter while James and Carlos fought for the same spot on the couch. Kendall chose to remain standing and took a drink of his own water.

"Did you and Camille break up again?" he asked, looking like this was exactly what he expected. "I mean, we all knew it was only a matter of time…"

"_No_," Logan snapped. He sighed. "Sorry. No, we did not break up. You know, we were serious when we decided this time would be different."

"And then you broke up the next week," Carlos pointed out cheerfully.

"And then we got back together and haven't broken up since!" Logan retorted. "Anyway…Camille's dad…he's going to make her move back to Connecticut if she hasn't booked a role by the end of summer."

"What?" Carlos and Kendall both exclaimed. James looked skeptical.

"Why?" James asked. "She's had plenty of roles! She's always showing up in costumes and everything, one of those _must _have been for a role she actually got."

"Camille hasn't had an acting job since that dish washer fluid commercial," Logan reminded him.

"That was last December!" Carlos remembered. "She had one line and she made me practice it with her, like, _fifty _different ways before she was happy with it."

James still didn't look incredibly concerned. "Well, it's still not a problem," he scoffed. "We'll be shooting a new music video in a few weeks—Gustavo told us that yesterday. You know he'll let Camille be in the video! Problem solved."

Logan shook his head sadly. "No, I already offered that. She said her dad wants her to have a real role—like, her big break. She's got to get something on a TV show, or in a movie, and it has to be more than one scene or just a few lines. She has to make it, or she's going home."

The four guys fell into a stony silence as they each mulled these thoughts over. "Well, can't you just get Gustavo to use some of his connections and find her something?" Kendall offered. "Or we can pull some strings…" He trailed off as he saw Logan shaking his head.

"I already offered. She wants to do it herself," he told the guys. "She doesn't want to have some role that someone else got for her." Logan took a final swig of water and started toward the recycling bin to throw it away.

"Logan, I'm sure she'll get something—" Kendall began, but Logan cut him off.

"But, but what if she doesn't?" Logan stammered quickly as he turned to face Kendall. "Let's face it! The odds of making it in Hollywood are astronomical, and Camille's been here longer than we have. Guys, the odds aren't in her favor." He chucked the bottle at the recycling bin and missed. He stared at it on the floor. "What if I lose her _again_?"

_Camille_

"Dad?" Camille closed the door and locked it behind her. "I'm home…" Camille's father called a greeting from his spot on the couch where he was engrossed in that morning's paper.

"Did you get a call about that audition?" he asked, without looking up. Camille felt herself flush, and she shuffled into the kitchen.

"No, Dad," she admitted. "But I've got another audition next week, and I'm bound to get that one." Her dad only murmured a response and turned a page. Camille bit her lip and grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl on the counter. She turned it over and over in her hands, staring at it instead of her father. "And if that doesn't work out, pilot filming season is just around the corner…"

Her father sighed and folded his paper shut and looked at her. "Camille. Just remember what we talked about."

"How could I forget?" Camille muttered under her breath.

The murmurs weren't missed by her father. "Honey, you know I support you trying to become an actress, and everything that you've achieved…but you have to face the facts. We've been here for three and a half years. You've spent your entire high school experience focusing more on landing roles than your actual studies."

"I get great grades, Dad," Camille objected, a little insulted. "That's not even the problem!"

"You're right," her dad conceded. "But I don't want you to miss out on anything in life because you're chasing after a career that only one in a million people get. I want you to go to college, and I want you to be taken care of in life—"

"I know, Dad," Camille sighed.

Her dad held up a hand to stop her talking. "Camille, you know what my final decision is. If you don't manage to get something that can be considered your 'big break' by the time the school year is starting, we'll be going back to Connecticut and you'll do your senior year in a real high school." He sighed and then sat back in his chair again. "You can come back to California for college maybe—but you'll be here for school first, acting second."

"Dad, that's not fair," Camille objected, knowing already that she would lose this fight. She'd already lost it the night before. "It can take years to become successful in this industry and I'm in my prime to—"

"Camille, you told me this when you were 13 and convinced me to relocate out here. At the time…it was probably the best decision. We both needed a change. Your mother…" he trailed off, and Camille broke eye contact, looking instead at a point on the wall behind him.

"But now it's different," he continued finally. "You're grown up. I'm not so sure that hanging out with celebrities is what you need."

"What do you mean?" Camille questioned, drawing her eyes back to her father. "What's wrong with my friends?"

"Camille, your best friend is in New Zealand filming some teen movie, and your boyfriend is in that Justin Bieber boy band group. You spend your time laying by a pool and going to concerts and getting your picture taken by paparazzi—Camille, I brought you out here to be an actress, not a celebrity hang-on."

Camille was shocked. "But that's what I want! No, ask anyone! I've said that exact thing, 'I want to be an actress, not a celebrity'!"

"Honey, I'm giving you your last chance to prove that," her father explained. "That's what this summer is for. Concentrate on your career if you really want to have one." He shrugged and picked up the television remote, flicking it on, ending the conversation. Camille stood there for a moment, fuming, and then quickly moved herself to her bedroom where she could be angry by herself.

"The Justin Bieber comment was uncalled for," she grumbled under her breath, twisting the stem of her apple angrily until it came off. She paced back and forth quickly for a few seconds before she went to the patio and stepped out for some fresh air.

The sun was just going down. Camille looked out over the railing down at the pool. Guitar Dude was by one of the fire pits with a few of his friends, and then the Jennifers were immediately beneath her, gossiping about something or other. Resting her elbows on the edge of the railing, Camille pushed a strand of hair out of her face and sighed.

"Did you see the pics online of Logan?" Camille's ears perked up at the sound of Logan's name. She looked down and saw that it was Jennifer 1, talking to her fellows. The other two nodded enthusiastically.

_It's wrong to eavesdrop, it's wrong to eavesdrop_…Camille's brain nagged at her. _Shut up,_ she told the nagging voice. _I can't hear._

Jennifer 2 giggled and fanned herself with the magazine she was holding. "That boy is seriously fine. Now that those guys are famous, I might just let them take me on a date."

"Well not Logan," Jennifer 1 reminded her, sounding annoyed. "He's dating Camille again. She was in the pictures, remember?"

Jennifer 3 snorted. "She's pretty easy to miss. Nothing special."

"Besides," Jennifer 2 added. "He and Camille are on-again, off-again every other week. I'll just scoop him up once they break up again."

"What does he see in her anyway?" Jennifer 3 mused, taking a sip of water that she had by her side. "I mean, she's got next to no talent, as shown by her lack of roles, and she's…well…"

"Go on, say it!" Jennifer 1 encouraged, while Jennifer 2 giggled knowingly.

"Well she's not the skinniest girl around, is she?" Jennifer 3 finally said, a sly smile on her face. Camille felt her mouth open slowly in shock and her cheeks heated up as they turned bright red.

"I'll say," Jennifer 2 agreed. "Look at those pictures! Her thighs look _horrible_. We should call her COW-mille instead!"

The three vicious girls laughed hysterically at this as Camille slowly backed away from the edge. She reached behind her and opened the door.

"Well, as soon as Logan dumps her sorry ass, I'll be waiting for him," was the last thing she heard before she shut the door. She turned and faced the inside of her room, pressing her back against the door and sliding down it.

"Cow-mille?" she whispered to herself. "Really?" She straightened out her legs and looked closely at them. She had never before even remotely thought about whether or not she was fat. But now, looking at herself, it was practically all she could see. Fat dripping on every surface.

_No wonder I can't get any roles_…she realized. _No one hires the fat girl. Well, except to _play_ a fat girl._ Camille shook her head violently, her curls swinging back and forth. _I won't play a fat girl. I won't do it._

She took one look at the apple in her hand and threw it away from her, making it into the waste basket by her bed. It fell in with a loud clang.


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Big Time Rush or its characters.**

**WARNING: May be triggering.**

"And turn! And _smile_! And…Logan, what are you doing? Stop the music!" Mr. X waved his hands frustratingly at Kelly, who immediately pressed pause on the boom box. The guys stopped dancing and stood there, panting, as Mr. X folded his arms menacingly at Logan. Logan barely flinched.

"What _X_-cuse do you have this time, Logan?" Mr. X demanded. "You have never been an _X_-ceptional dancer, but you're not even trying!" The other guys looked down their line to Logan at the end, who just shrugged and sighed.

"I'm sorry, I guess I'm not feeling it today," he muttered. "I've got a lot on my mind and—" He was cut off by the booming voice of Gustavo Roque.

"Why are they not _dancing_?" Gustavo demanded as he stood in the doorway of the studio. "There's still forty minutes left in dance rehearsal!" He looked accusingly at Kelly, who directed his gaze to Mr. X, who then pointed an accusing finger at Logan, who looked slightly more intimidated when under the glare of Gustavo. "Logan! Why are you holding up rehearsal?"

Kendall tried to calm things down. "He's not! Come on, can we just take it from the top and then—"

Gustavo apparently didn't hear him. "Do I need to _remind _you DOGS that you have your concert _this Saturday_? You should know the dance by now—not still be learning it, _LOGAN_!"

"Hey back off, Gustavo!" Logan snapped. Kendall's eyes grew wide as he looked from his friend to his boss. James let out a little "oooh" and Carlos gave a slight squeak of terror and pressed his helmet firmly to his head.

"Logan…" Kendall murmured. Gustavo's face was turning red with anger, and Logan looked like he regretted his outburst.

He thought fast. "Ah, by _back off_, I meant, erm...I…" Logan floundered around for some way to make this better. "I'm really sorry, Gustavo!"

"Take cover!" James shouted, and the guys immediately flipped over the plastic folding table that was set up in a corner of the room and hid behind it as Gustavo exploded.

"_NEVER EVER TALK TO ME LIKE THAT YOU DOGS DON'T KNOW HOW GOOD YOU HAVE IT—" _ Safe from Gustavo, the three other boys cast dark looks at Logan.

"What the _heck _is wrong with you?" James questioned, with a smack to the back of Logan's head. "Are you _crazy_? How long have you been working with Gustavo? You don't talk back to him _five days _before a concert!"

Kendall was peeking over the edge of the table. Gustavo was still shouting, almost unintelligibly, but was being restrained from attacking the guys by both Kelly and Mr. X. Between the two of them, they managed to force him out of the studio. "Take a quick break guys!" Kelly yelled breathlessly over her shoulder before they shut the door.

The guys all sighed and came out from behind the table. James and Kendall turned it right side up again. Logan muttered under his breath and ran his fingers through his hair. Carlos looked on, slightly concerned.

"You okay, man?" he asked Logan. He nudged Kendall and gestured at their frustrated friend.

"I'm fine," Logan insisted. "I'm sorry for snapping at Gustavo, and for screwing up the dancing, I really am. I just can't focus. I hardly slept last night."

"Why?" James asked. "I slept like a baby."

"You always sleep like a baby," Carlos told him. "You snore."

"I do not!"

"Do too!"

"Guys!" Kendall silenced the two of them. He turned back to Logan. "Is it Camille?"

Logan nodded. "I just kept thinking about how upset she was, and how much _more _upset she'll be if she actually does have to move back to Connecticut. And how there's _nothing _I can do, because she won't let me! I mean, isn't that what I'm supposed to do?" he asked his friends desperately. "I'm supposed to keep her happy and she won't let me help."

Kendall sighed and shrugged. "Sometimes…I mean, you've got to let her do her own thing. Even if it hurts you." Logan had the feeling that Kendall was referring as much to Jo as he was to Camille.

"I know," he admitted. "What if…what if I got Gustavo or Griffin put in a good word for her without telling her?" He looked for approval from the guys. "Would that be wrong?"

James shrugged. "I guess you have to make that decision yourself."

"She'd be so upset if she had to leave…" he mused. "_I'd _be upset if she had to leave. We're _finally _making things work, and this happens?" He ran his fingers through his hair again, and then shoved his hands in his pockets. "I'm sorry I screwed up rehearsal guys."

"It's fine," Carlos assured him. "If you hadn't messed up, Mr. X would have stopped us soon anyway, to yell at James for messing up the grapevine."

"How about I grapevine all over your face, you little turd?" James threatened, and Carlos opened his mouth to respond.

"_X_-cellent!" All four guys jumped and turned to see Mr. X back in the room, looking approving. "You're practicing!" Hesitant laughter and slowly nodding heads was the response. He walked to the boom box. "Let's take it from the top."

_Camille_

The pages of her script stuck together as she tried to turn them. Her hands were too sweaty to get a grip on them. _Every _part of her was sweaty—she'd been running on the treadmill in the Palm Woods gym for forty minutes already, and she had twenty more minutes to go. She finally got the page turned and read further on.

_A spoiled, over-indulged daddy's little girl_, she thought, describing the part she would be reading for. _Shouldn't be too hard. According to my actual father, that's what I am._ She took a swig of water from her bottle and blew a sweaty strand of hair from her face.

_Of course, you can't get this role if you don't lose ten pounds…_ That was her new goal. If she lost ten pounds, she'd be 101, and no way she'd be fat anymore.

"Camille?" Camille looked up from the script to see her friend Stephanie King in the doorway. She was wearing a small pair of shorts and a teeny tube top over her bikini and she looked absolutely skinny. _How are her arms so small?_ Camille wondered. "I'm going to the pool with Rachel. You want to join us when you're done?"

Camille nodded and smile. "Sure thing," she managed to gasp out. "See you there."

Stephanie smiled back and ducked back out. Camille pressed the increase speed button to power through her remaining 19 minutes.

**I know it's short. Forgive me.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Long chapter to make up for the short one :-)**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Big Time Rush or any of its characters or songs.**

**WARNING: May be triggering.**

Going over the events of today in his head made Logan more tired than he was before. It was finally Saturday, the day of their concert here in LA. After arriving at the (completely awesome) stadium at around eight that morning, they had gone through a full run through of the show, additional rehearsals for more tricky numbers, had lunch with a couple of magazine contest winners, and gone through wardrobe, hair, and makeup, before they were finally permitted to relax for forty five minutes or so in their dressing room before they had to get touched up and warmed up again before the show at eight PM. Logan had immediately collapsed on the large black leather sectional, in hopes of grabbing a quick sleep before the show.

No such luck.

"Hey Logan…Hey…Logan…Hey Logan…"

"Leave him alone, Carlos…"

"I just need to ask him something!"

"It can wait, he's finally sleeping."

"But—"

"No, let him sleep. You don't have to share a room with him—when he can't sleep he just walks around the room. It's annoying. Carlos, we said leave him alone!"

Logan groaned in his head, trying to block out the too-loud whispers of his friends. They thought he was asleep. Truthfully, he _had _been almost asleep, but their incessant talking was keeping him up, no matter how quiet they tried to be.

"Hey! Stop shoving me, James!"

"I need to check my hair, would you move out of the way?"

"Why should I?"

"Guys! Stop. For, like, the fifth time, Logan is sleeping and if you _wake _him I will make the rest of your day a nightmare."

Shifting ever so slightly, Logan sniffed loudly, making his friends think he might be stirring. He almost smiled at the immediate silence he heard. He could practically see the smoke coming out of Kendall's ears and James' and Carlos' frightened faces. He resumed breathing deeply, to continue his façade of being asleep, and he heard Carlos let out a held breath.

"Sheesh, guys, our best friend can't get a nap?" Kendall muttered. "He hasn't been sleeping."

"How can he be _that _worried about Camille?" James murmured, making more of an effort to be quiet. "She has to get a job. She will. He doesn't need to be so concerned that he makes himself sick."

"Come on James, it's his girlfriend," Carlos reminded him. "Wouldn't you be upset if your girlfriend moved away?"

"I'd just get another girlfriend in like five minutes, so…"

"Logan doesn't sleep well in the first place," Kendall reminded him. "And when he's stressed about something he can't sleep at all. So _let him sleep and shut up_."

Logan almost smiled again. That was Kendall, always looking out for him. Kendall acted like he was the oldest of the group. It was really James, but since James was usually more concerned about himself about the smaller things in life, it was up to Kendall to look out for Logan and Carlos when need be.

He shifted again, just slightly. They were finally quiet. Maybe…maybe he could get a quick rest…

_CRASH!_

Logan's eyes flew open as something—he didn't know what—made a huge noise on the other side of the room. He quickly surveyed the room, seeing James at the vanity desk, having been redoing his hair in the mirror, and Kendall quickly going towards the crash caused by…who else…Carlos.

"Aw, Carlos," Kendall groaned. Carlos, in all his effort to be quiet, had managed to knock an entire tray of mini sandwiches that had been set up for the guys to the ground. He glanced up sheepishly, and noticed that Logan was sitting up on the couch.

"Oops, sorry, Logan…" he apologized, cowering from Kendall, who immediately looked and saw Logan awake as well.

"Sorry, man, I was _trying _to let you sleep," he explained. "But _this_…" He gestured to Carlos and then to James. "…is hard to control sometimes."

"It's fine," Logan murmured, rubbing the back of his neck. "I probably shouldn't be getting so mellow before we go onstage anyway." He yawned despite himself.

The door to the dressing room opened, and Logan instinctively checked his watch. They still had at least twenty more minutes before a stage hand would come get them for warm ups. He looked back up and felt his face break into a smile.

"Camille!" he said, surprised. "I thought you weren't coming until later. How was your audition?"

"Great!" she said, giving a tight-lipped smile that immediately told Logan that it had _not _gone great. "I thought I'd come see you guys before the show, is that okay?"

"Of course it is, c'mon in," Kendall gestured for her to enter and she came to sit by Logan. James by now had turned his attention back to his beaming reflection, and Carlos was attempting to clean up the mess he had made on the ground. As Kendall reached down to help him (he was really only making the mess bigger…), Logan affectionately placed his arm around Camille and she leaned her head against his shoulder. He placed a kiss on her hair and squeezed her shoulder comfortingly.

"Rough day?" he asked. She nodded. When she didn't elaborate, he spoke again. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Camille shook her head. "No thanks," she semi-whispered. She smiled ever so slightly, turning her face to look up at him. "Today's your day. I'm really excited to see the concert—you've been working so hard lately."

Logan thought he caught a hidden meaning in that. "Tomorrow night I'm going to take you out, okay? I haven't been around much this week, with all the last-minute rehearsals and things." Camille smiled bigger at that. She reached up and put her hand on the back of his neck, pulling his lips towards hers.

Their lips had barely met before someone knocked and opened the door. "Aww, isn't that sweet?" Logan heard a voice coo as he and Camille pulled apart. There was a bright flash of a camera and Logan blinked in surprise, clearing his vision to see three people standing in the doorway, one of whom he recognized.

"Kelly, what's up?" Kendall asked, quickly stepping in front of the photographer's path. "We don't already have to be at warm-ups, do we?"

"No, you guys have plenty of time," Kelly assured him. "Gustavo and Griffin thought that since you had some free time, you wouldn't mind talking to the Tiger Beat reporters before the concert, rather than after." Kendall glanced at the rest of the group for approval.

Logan seemed like he was about to say no, but Camille grabbed the hand that was on her shoulder and squeezed it, removing his arm and scooting away. "You go ahead. I'll get to my seat and see you after the show." He gave her a quick peck on the cheek before she moved quickly past the reporter and photographer. As the door was swinging shut behind her, she heard the reporter.

"So, Logan, was that your girlfriend?" Camille sighed, balling and unballing her fists.

_Yup, because that's all I am and ever will be_, she thought bitterly. _A pop star's girlfriend. A movie star's best friend. I'll never be the one in the spotlight myself. _

Security was kind enough to escort her to her place on the floor in front of the stage, because the place was already packed with screaming fans, going crazy for the opening band. Camille looked around and everywhere she saw BTR signs, shirts, _everything_. These people were _crazy_ about Logan, Kendall, James, and Carlos.

And none of them knew who she was.

Well, maybe they did, but only because they had seen her standing next to Logan in a magazine picture or something like that.

Not because she meant anything to them. If anything, she was "competition" to the more extreme fans of her boyfriend. But other than that, she was literally _nothing._

She cast her thoughts back to earlier that day.

"_Only 108?" Camille gasped as the numbers popped up on her digital scale in her bathroom. "But...but…but it's not fair! I've been eating nothing but salads and grains and drinking water and working out! How could I only lose three pounds?" She glared at the numbers, that only blankly stared back at her, unchanging._

_With an aggravated sigh, Camille got off the scale and sank to the floor of her bathroom. "There must be something else I can do…" she wondered. Out of habit, she checked her watch and sighed again. "I can't do anything now, I'll be late for the audition." Camille hauled her "fat" ass off the floor and quickly dressed for her audition, wearing her sparkly, short, pink prom dress she had bought to go to a premiere with Logan and four inch silver stiletto heels. She had done her hair in snooty looking curls piled high on her head. The look was very heiress, the part that she was reading for. _

"_If they see me as the character, then they won't be able to see me as anything else," Camille told herself. She told herself this before every audition. It was why she always wore costumes to her auditions, so the casting agents would only view her as the character and nothing else. Grabbing the script pages and her bag, Camille hurried from her apartment to the streets._

_Once she had reached the studio where she was auditioning, her nerves started setting in. She signed in, got her number, and sat numbly in the waiting area, anxiously drinking water. Right as they started getting close to calling for her, Camille got the extreme need to pee, and hurried off to find a bathroom before she needed to be in the audition._

_As she walked in the bathroom, she heard the unmistakable sound of vomiting. Stopping dead, Camille just waited, frozen, as whoever was throwing up finished and a stall door opened. "Jennifer?" Camille couldn't help saying in surprise. It was Jennifer 2, and she looked surprisingly cool for someone who had obviously been throwing up her entire stomach. _

"_What do _you _want?" she asked Camille coldly as she went to the sink and began rinsing out her mouth and then washing her hands. Camille was still shocked._

"_I…I…are you okay?" Camille hated the girl, for all the things that the Jennifers had said about her, but she couldn't help her asking._

"_I'm fine," Jennifer spat. _

"_Are you nervous?" Camille couldn't help ask. "I've never thrown up from nerves before, but I feel like I might today."_

"_Of course I'm not nervous," Jennifer scoffed. "I'm getting rid of lunch."_

"_What?"  
_

_Jennifer smirked and rolled her eyes. "Oh please. Don't tell me you don't know what purging is."_

"_Of course I do! Are you trying to say you…you were throwing up on _purpose_?"_

"_That's exactly what I'm saying. You can eat whatever you want this way, as long as you get rid of it afterwards. No calories get to you, right?" Jennifer turned off the sink and gave Camille a once-over. "Maybe _you _should try it sometime, hmm?" She giggled and brushed past Camille out the door._

_Camille leaned up against the sink, purely blown by what Jennifer had said. First of all…she had finally insulted Camille to her face. But second of all, she was _bulimic_. And she seemed _proud _of it. _

No wonder she's so skinny_, Camille realized. _And she can eat whatever she wants, and stay that way.

_She thought about what else Jennifer had said. "No calories get to you…" Camille repeated slowly. She couldn't even consider forcing herself to throw up. She hated throwing up and she knew she wouldn't be able to. But maybe there was another way._

_Before all this had started, Camille would usually go to the gym with Stephanie twice a week to run on the treadmill for half an hour. This week, she'd been going every night for an hour long run. She had to burn…maybe four hundred calories doing that. That wasn't equivalent to what she ate during the day. So all she had to do was burn off _all _the calories that she ate! It was so simple she couldn't believe she was just thinking of it. This way she wasn't starving herself, she wasn't forcing herself to throw up, she was simply working out! _

_It was sort of a different kind of purging. A healthy way. Camille smiled, pleased with her new way._

Of course, after that, her audition had gone horribly, with her portrayal of the character's meltdown in the scene she was reading. She had gotten a bit too excited and ended up throwing the script she was holding into the eye of one of the casting agents and knocked over one of the lights. The director's assistant had escorted a profusely apologizing Camille to the door with a typical "Don't call us, we'll call you," line.

Camille suddenly realized that the opening band was heading out, and the opening music of _Epic _was starting, and the guys were dramatically rising out of the ground of the stage. She had been daydreaming through the whole opening act.

"_This one is for the ladies, they lookin' so amazing." _Logan caught Camille's eye somehow, all the way up onstage, and winked at her. The girls around Camille all started screaming, swearing that he had winked at them. Camille just rolled her eyes, planted a smile on her face, and tried to enjoy herself.

**I'm interested to see what your reaction to Camille's revelation will be…**


	5. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Big Time Rush or any of its characters.**

**WARNING: May be triggering.**

It wasn't as simple as Camille had thought. She had to constantly track every single calorie she took in, and then calculate how many calories she was burning in exercise _exactly._ She ended up vigorously exercising for at least two hours every night, maybe two and a half. When results didn't show as quickly as Camille wanted, she bumped up her exercise, setting the goal to burn twice the calories she took in.

Unfortunately, she discovered that if she kept eating her usual amount of calories per day (1200), she would spend so much time exercising she was sure her father would notice and get concerned. Not that he needed to, she was sure, but he tended to be unreasonable about things. So Camille lowered her daily calorie intake to 900 calories a day, and set her goal to burn 1800 a day at least.

It meant working out for three hours at night, every night. She had been doing it in the afternoon, but she overheard Stephanie mention something to Rachel one time.

"Camille's been working out _all _the time," Stephanie was saying. Camille, coming from the workout room, stopped before going around the corner and listened. "I'm starting to get a little worried about her."

"I guess," Rachel replied slowly. "I mean, I'm sure she's just getting into shape for a role as a triathlete or something like that."

"But she's not hanging out with us or with the guys by the pool in the afternoon anymore. Camille's not one to avoid her friends or her boyfriend. I think Logan's getting worried about her too."

Camille felt her breath catch in her throat as Stephanie and Rachel's voices faded while they walked away. She couldn't let anyone think she was doing something wrong. She wasn't. She was doing something good by burning her calories into non-existence. But she felt guilty for some reason, and decided she should work harder to hide her workouts.

So now she rejoined her relieved friends poolside and, when all of them had returned to their apartments for the evening, she snuck down to the gym and sweated and worked away her overload of fat and carbs and _calories_.

Sure, she was sore all the time, but she forced herself to look forward to being sore. _The feeling of sore muscles is the feeling of fat leaving your body_, she would tell herself as she forced herself out of bed in the morning. And every morning she'd run to the scale, celebrating falling numbers and punishing herself with even more exercise for rising numbers.

Auditions came and went, nothing ever coming from them. The summer was creeping by slowly for everyone but Camille, who watched the weeks fly by with terrified eyes. The more scared she got, the more she pushed her body in workouts. It had become extremely therapeutic for her to exercise now. Anytime she felt mad or sad or anything, she always wanted to work out. She invested in an exercise ball and spent time in the morning doing crunches in her bedroom. Sometimes she'd go to the gym in the morning too, to get a quick run on the treadmill before Logan would be expecting her to go with him somewhere and probably eat something that would ruin her diet forever.

On one morning in late June, Camille woke up not just sore from working out, but with a headache and sore throat. She forced herself out of bed and into the shower, sure she would be feeling better as soon as she got into the steamy, hot water, but her head just pounded away. Her sinuses were completely blocked and she felt weak and shaky.

_You can't get sick_, she scolded herself. _Not now. You don't get sick, okay?_ Sure that it was just a cold and that she'd feel better if she was active, Camille dressed to work out and went down to the gym. She walked in and immediately ducked back out the door. Mrs. Knight was in there.

_Oh great, she's probably on some sort of fitness kick,_ Camille complained to herself. She couldn't let Mrs. Knight see her working out as intensely as she did and besides, the woman could sense any illness from miles away. She'd probably force Camille to go home and go to bed. _No, she wouldn't because you're not sick, remember? _she reminded herself. Still, Camille left the gym in frustration.

She glanced outside. Maybe she could have a run outside. _That might be fun_, Camille thought, trying to ignore that she was feeling worse by the minute. _A change of scenery, some exercise, and fresh air and I'll be feeling better in no time._ After tightening her shoe laces, Camille left the Palm Woods and took off at a jog down the sidewalk.

_Logan_

Logan was an early riser—his friends were not. Therefore, whenever Gustavo called the guys, demanding that they come in to the studio an hour early to record some new harmonies, he was the only one who was remotely prepared for the day. Kendall looked like he was about to fall face first into his cereal, James was snoring with his head on the counter, and Carlos literally had to be dragged out of bed by Logan, and was now curled up on the floor of the kitchen, hugging his pillow.

Looking at all of them, Logan was shocked. "Guys, it's eight thirty!" he exclaimed. "You get up earlier than this on school days—or for the concert a few weeks ago! What is the matter with you?"

"It's summer, Logan!" Kendall complained. "What happened to Gustavo's promise of 'no call times before ten AM'?"

"Oh please, you thought that would stick?" Logan chuckled. "C'mon guys, wake up and let's go. Carlos." Logan looked at the small Latino boy on the floor. "Please get up. You are being overly dramatic."

"I am overly dramatic," Carlos snuffled, hugging his pillow closer to his body and burying his face in it.

It took Logan another fifty minutes to get all of his friends fed, dressed, and ready to go. Once Kendall had sufficiently woken up, he took control of Carlos, and Logan managed to get James out of the bathroom in a reasonable amount of time, and they were ready to leave by nine-fifteen.

"God you guys are difficult," Logan complained as they walked out of the Palm Woods to their waiting car. "Seriously, James, your hair looks fine."

"I didn't get to shampoo twice," he grumbled, looking at his reflection on his phone. "You were yelling at me to get out."

"Because we are already going to be late, and I wanted to minimize Gustavo's yelling at us," Logan muttered, checking his watch.

"Is that Camille?" Carlos asked with a yawn. Logan looked to see where Carlos gestured and saw his brunette girlfriend jogging towards the guys on the sidewalk. He started to smile and wave, but then he noticed how she looked. She was flushed, her hair was limp in the ponytail that she was wearing, and she had a grimace on her face that looked like she was in pain.

"Camille!" he called, forgetting his friends and going towards her. She looked like she wanted to keep jogging, but she stopped, breathing hard. "Camille, are you okay? Camille?"

_Camille_

She had already gone several times around the Palm Woods, and had been planning to go several more, but she was feeling more horrible by the minute. Her "being active will make you feel better" theory was clearly not true. _I have to keep going_, her brain ordered her weakly. _Have to burn off calories_. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she was aware she hadn't eaten any calories that morning to burn off. But she kept going.

As she went around the front of the Palm Woods again, she saw the guys leaving. They were going to the studio; Logan had told her that they had a recording that day. _ Oh no,_ Camille dreaded. _I forgot. They're going to see me. They'll say something_. She tried to become invisible, but she saw Carlos point her out to Logan, who took one look at her and started coming towards her.

Camille didn't know what to do. She felt so compelled to keep running, but she started seeing gray spots in her vision. She was aware that Logan was saying something to her, was looking at her, was concerned about her, but she couldn't make herself answer. She felt herself swaying, and her knees buckling. She felt Logan's arms reach out to grab her as the ground rushed up to meet her and she blacked out.

_Logan_

"Camille!" he shouted, as his little girlfriend swayed frighteningly and then fell, fainting. He grabbed her before she hit the ground, and slowly lowered her down, pulling her onto his lap. "Camille, wake up!" He looked up at Kendall, who had been the first to reach him when the guys saw Camille fall. "Call an ambulance, please!" He looked at his scarily pale girlfriend and felt himself beginning to panic. "Camille, please wake up!"


	6. Chapter 6

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Big Time Rush or any of its characters.**

**WARNING: May be triggering.**

_Kendall_

"Camille doesn't look so good," was what Carlos said at the exact moment they saw her sway and fall, Logan catching her in time. They all broke out running towards them, Kendall moving faster than the other two.

It had been so unbelievable. One second, Camille was standing there (albeit gasping for breath and looking like crap) and suddenly she had fainted and Logan was cradling her body in his arms. The moment had seemed to happen both in slow motion and so fast that it was crazy. He almost didn't know what to do.

"Call an ambulance, please!" Logan commanded him, and then he was fully concentrated on the unconscious girl in his arms. "Camille, please wake up!" Kendall fumbled with his cell phone, trying to get it out of his pocket and dial 911. Carlos and James had caught up and were now standing over them. A crowd was forming.

"What's going on? Is she okay?" Carlos asked, almost hysterical. "Kendall, what's wrong with her?"

"I don't know!" Kendall exclaimed. "James, talk to 911 and get an ambulance here." Kendall thrust the phone at James, who immediately stepped to the side to speak to the operator. Kneeling beside Logan, Kendall put his hand on Camille's forehead. He winced at the scorching heat, and Logan nodded, scared.

"She's burning up," Logan said anxiously, one hand cupping Camille's cheek. "Camille…Camille, sweetie, can you hear me?" He looked up at Kendall with panic-filled eyes. "Kendall, what do I do?"

Kendall stammered, trying to figure that out himself. This was supposed to be what Logan knew about, but being Logan he panicked under pressure. "Just…just stay calm, buddy," he said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "We'll get her some help." Kendall looked up at Carlos. "Carlos, run inside and get some water." As Carlos ran off, Kendall heard James talking to the 911 operator.

"We need an ambulance at the Palm Woods Hotel…our friend fainted…we don't know, she was jogging outside and then she just passed out, she probably got heat stroke or something…okay…okay, please tell them to hurry!" James cupped a hand over the phone. "An ambulance is on the way, and I'm staying on the line with the operator until it gets here. She says if she's hot then place something cool on her forehead." He went back to the phone call, just as Carlos came running out with two water bottles in his hands, and Mr. Bitters and what looked like half the Palm Woods in tow. Carlos handed the water to Kendall, and he placed the cold bottle on Camille's burning forehead.

"Okay, everyone back up!" Mr. Bitters was saying. "Give the girl some air!" He started directing lookers-on away from the scene. Logan was still looking very panicked, pale, like he might pass out himself.

"Logan," Kendall said, trying to get his friend's attention. "Logan. Look at me, Logan!" When Logan looked up, Kendall tried to give him a reassuring look. "An ambulance is on the way. She'll be okay."

"God, I can't remember anything, Kendall," Logan exclaimed frantically. "I can't for the life of me figure out what's wrong, I don't know how to help her! I can always help people when they're sick, God, I can't remember anything!" He ran his hand over Camille's sweaty hair. "Camille, honey, please…"

"Logan, you're panicking!" Kendall told him firmly. "You've got to calm down or you're going to end up needing an ambulance too." Just as he said that, he made out the distant siren of an ambulance. "Here it comes right now. It's okay, she's going to be fine," he assured his worried friend.

The ambulance pulled up to the sidewalk and two paramedics got out, one jogging around to the back and opening up the doors while another came over to Camille, still grasped in Logan's arms.

"Excuse me, out of my way!" the paramedic was shouting to the crowd around the group. "You people move along, let us do our job!" Some of the passersby left, but the crowd of kids from the Palm Woods—Camille's and the guys' friends—stayed huddled on the front lawn behind Mr. Bitters, looking scared and confused. Kendall saw Stephanie standing in the front, looking concerned and—if he wasn't mistaken—guilty.

"Hey there," the paramedic said to Logan very gently. "Mind if I take her from here?" Logan numbly handed her over to the paramedic's care, and she grabbed Camille's wrist to take her pulse. "What's her name?" the paramedic asked Logan.

"Camille," he told her.

"Camille?" the paramedic said to the unanswering girl. "Camille, sweetie, can you hear my voice?" The paramedic grabbed Camille's hand in her own. "If you can hear me, squeeze my hand." She waited for a few seconds. "Nothing. Okay." Two more paramedics were wheeling a gurney over and Camille was gently lifted on to it. The paramedic was saying something about pulse and Kendall was standing up, pulling Logan up with him.

"Go with her," Kendall told Logan urgently. "We'll call Gustavo and then meet you at the hospital." Logan didn't answer, but he followed the paramedics as they put Camille in the back of the ambulance, and then they let him get in as well. Kendall turned to James, who started dialing Gustavo on Kendall's cell. He gave one look to Carlos, and he ran to get in the driver's seat of the car. Kendall and James got in as well, James explaining the situation to Gustavo, and they headed off right behind the ambulance.

_Logan_

He felt so panicked, he couldn't even think straight. His feisty, spunky little girlfriend was lying on a gurney in an ambulance, looking so pale and helpless that he wanted to cry. He had been instructed by the paramedics to stay off to the side. He tried to follow their conversation—he could have if he hadn't kept getting distracted by _Camille_, just _lying _there.

"Camille?" one of the paramedics said. "Camille, how are you feeling?" Logan suddenly noticed that Camille's eyelashes had fluttered open, and she was looking around her, looking half-dazed and very confused.

"Logan…" she murmured. "Where's Logan?"

A paramedic looked at him. "Are you Logan?"

"Yes," Logan said breathlessly, stepping over to where Camille could see him. "I'm right here, Camille."

"What's happening…?" she asked, sounding tired.

"Shh, you're okay, Camille, it's alright," he insisted.

"What's your relationship to her?" a paramedic asked him.

"I'm her boyfriend."

"Can you get in contact with her parents?"

Camille answered, sounding still very groggy. "Dad's out of town…"

"That's right," Logan realized. "Her dad went on a camping trip with his buddies. They're in the woods somewhere in Southern California, and I don't have his cell phone number in my phone!"

"Camille, can you tell us your dad's number?" a paramedic asked her gently, as another was taking her blood pressure. Camille barely seemed to hear him and she just closed her eyes again. "Camille, stay awake, okay, honey?"

"Camille…" Logan said worriedly, and reached out to grab her hand. "Camille, listen to me, please don't pass out again…Camille?"

"She's gone again," a paramedic said, brushing Logan's hand aside. He pricked her finger and squeezed out a droplet of blood into a small machine—a blood sugar meter, Logan recognized. When the reading came up, the paramedic didn't look pleased. "Her blood sugar is practically non-existent," he told the others.

Logan felt the ambulance stop_. We must be at the hospital_, he thought. The doors opened and the paramedics were moving Camille on her stretcher out. Logan quickly followed them through the ER waiting room and back to the room they took her to. A doctor and several nurses were there and immediately started checking Camille over. Logan caught bits and pieces of the conversation between paramedic and doctor.

"Low blood sugar…possibly dehydrated…burning with fever…"

"Excuse me." Logan looked up to see a middle-aged nurse standing by him. "Are you a relative of hers?"

"I'm her boyfriend, and don't try to tell me to leave her, because I can't and won't," he said in a rush. "I have to stay with her. Her dad is out of town, so she needs me."

"That's fine," the nurse told him. "Can you answer some questions for us?"

"Can you answer some questions for _me_?" Logan retorted. "Is she okay? Why did she faint? Is she sick?"

"We are still examining her, as you can see, Mr…"

"Mitchell. Logan Mitchell."

"Mr. Mitchell, your girlfriend has very low blood sugar and a very high fever. The nurses over there…" She gestured for Logan to see. "…are currently setting up an IV in order to get some fluids into her, as she is also very dehydrated. How old is your girlfriend?"

"Seventeen," he answered. "She'll be eighteen in a few months."

"Were you with her when she fainted?"

"Yeah, but I had just walked outside. I went over to her, she was jogging around in the ninety degree heat like a crazy person, and she was gasping for breath and shaking and then she just passed out." Logan ran a hand anxiously through his hair. "Is she going to be okay?"

"She should be just fine, Mr. Mitchell, nothing is life-threatening right now. What's her name?"

"Camille Roberts."

"Alright, you can stay here if you want, but please don't get in our way." At that moment, Logan heard something wonderful.

"Logan?" It was Camille's voice, again calling out for him. She sounded much more alert this time. Logan immediately disregarded what the nurse had told him and went to Camille's side.

"Sweetheart, I'm here," he told her, reaching to caress her cheek comfortingly.

Camille groaned and closed her eyes. "My head hurts like _hell_," she moaned.

"Camille?" the doctor said, and Camille opened her eyes. "My name's Dr. Andrews, can you talk to me for a minute?" Camille nodded and the doctor smiled encouragingly. "Okay, can you tell me your full name?"

"Camille Anne Roberts," Camille said surely, and the doctor looked to Logan for confirmation. When Logan nodded, the doctor smiled bigger at Camille and continued asking her some more basic questions, asking her where she was and how many fingers he was holding up.

"What happened?" Camille asked finally.

"Well, Camille, you fainted," the doctor told her. The paramedics and all but one nurse, who was adjusting the IV, had left, leaving just Camille, the doctor, and Logan. "Your blood sugar was seriously low and you have a fever of 103 degrees." Logan felt himself take in a sharp breath. "Now, tell me, what other symptoms are you feeling?"

"Umm…" Camille adjusted herself to sit up more. "My head hurts I guess…"

"You guess?" the doctor asked. "A minute ago you said it hurt like hell. Is it better now?"

Camille nodded. "Mmhm, it's better," she murmured, not meeting the doctor's eyes.

"And do you have a sore throat?" Camille hesitated for a moment and then nodded very slowly. "Any nausea?"

"Can I go home now?" Camille asked in such a small voice that Logan wanted nothing more than to take her home right now. But he knew he couldn't and shouldn't, so he settled for taking her hand in his and squeezing it comfortingly.

"I think maybe you should stay here for a few more hours," the doctor said gently, writing something on a clipboard.

"Mr. Mitchell?" Logan looked up to see the same nurse as before standing there. "There's a few people in the waiting room looking for you. I can't let them back here and they are causing a bit of a scene. Will you please go out and speak to them?"

"Camille, the guys are here," he said gently to his still-too-pale girlfriend. "I'll be back just as soon as I let them know how you are." He placed a kiss on her hot forehead and quickly followed the nurse to the waiting room.

There, he saw Kendall trying to calm down an increasingly distraught Carlos, and James had a calming arm around Stephanie, who had tears going down her cheeks. "Logan!" Carlos exclaimed, seeing his friend walk out, and ran over to him. "Logan, is Camille alright?" The others came over too, Kendall putting his hand on Logan's shoulder comfortingly.

"Camille's awake," he reassured Carlos. "The doctor says her blood sugar is really low and that she has a fever of 103." Kendall winced and Logan nodded. "Yeah. I don't know what she was thinking, going out and jogging in 98 degree weather when she felt like that!"

"Oh God," Stephanie sobbed, sounding incredibly guilty. "Logan, I'm so sorry, I know I should have said something."

"What are you talking about?" James asked her. Carlos, having calmed himself down a bit, took James's place with Stephanie and stroked her hair soothingly.

"Stephanie, what's wrong?" Carlos asked her. "This isn't_ your _fault."

"That's right," Logan told her, but Stephanie only shook her head and sniffled loudly as she tried to calm herself enough to speak.

"I _knew _Camille had been overworking herself!" Stephanie cried. "I saw her sneaking to the gym at nighttime, and she'd stay in there for _hours. _She barely eats _anything_ and she spends so much time working out I'm surprise it's taken this long to catch up with her!" She broke down again, and Carlos guided her to a chair, kneeling in front of her and talking to her in a quiet, calming voice.

Logan was too shocked to even react. Camille had been overworking herself? How had he not even noticed? He recalled that she had been spending extra time in the gym a couple weeks ago, but she had suddenly stopped and nothing more had been said about it. He figured she had been getting in shape for one of her auditions that had ended in failure—there had been so many even he was having trouble keeping them all straight.

"Logan…C'mon, buddy, snap out of it." Logan felt Kendall's hand squeezing his shoulder and shaking him ever so slightly back and forth. Logan blinked and shook his head in disbelief.

He looked up at his concerned friend. "She's been overworking herself, and I didn't even _know_!" he said, feeling like he was the worst guy on the planet. "God, I can't even do anything! I couldn't help her when she was passed out on the sidewalk, and then I find out I've been doing nothing to help her when she's been having trouble for weeks?" Kendall reached out to grab Logan's other shoulder and turn Logan towards him, but Logan pushed him off, storming away.

"God, I just don't understand!" he exclaimed, whirling around and gripping his hair in both his hands. He looked at Stephanie, who was now watching him with tear-filled eyes. "Stephanie, why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you say something? Why did you let it come to all of _this_?"

Stephanie shook with silent tears. "I'm so, so sorry Logan," she apologized. Carlos offered her a handkerchief and she wiped her eyes with it. "I knew I should have said something—I figured if something was really wrong I wouldn't be the only one to notice!"

"Well you were _wrong _about that, weren't you?" Logan snapped at her. Stephanie sobbed again, and Carlos stood up looking angry, and advanced towards Logan.

"Hey, hey, hey, guys!" James broke in, having been almost entirely silent up until now. He placed himself between Carlos and Logan, putting a hand out towards each of them to keep them apart. "Stop it. Logan, you need to go back to Camille, okay?" Logan stood there for a second longer, and then stalked out of the waiting room.


	7. Chapter 7

**Please don't ask me how Camille got out of the emergency room without her dad showing up to sign papers. I didn't think that far ahead…oh well, just use your imagination?**

**Anyhoo, this story is turning out to be harder than I thought to write. So it's probably going to be wrapped up in a couple chapters. It's **_**definitely**_** not my best work but it's **_**absolutely**__**NOT**_** going to be my last. I've got an iCarly story on hiatus (another one that might be left on the back burner for a while, due to its triggering content), and I've got four…yes, you read that right, FOUR Big Time Rush story outlines that I'm dying to work on. I just need to know what order to do them in…**

**SO I put a poll up on my profile page with the basic plotline of each story as an option. Vote, and tell me which one you'd like to see me do first! They're all going to get done, I just would like some help deciding which to do first. Thanks, and enjoy.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Big Time Rush or any of its characters.**

**WARNING: May be triggering.**

"Camille…you've got to talk to me eventually, you know." Camille just stared straight ahead, not looking at Logan, completely without expression, her arms folded across her chest. Her face was still flushed with fever, although the doctors had managed to lower it to a more reasonable 100.9 degrees. Camille had been rehydrated, been diagnosed with the flu, and then released into Logan's capable hands.

Since this had taken a few hours, the guys had been forced by Gustavo eventually to go into the studio. Somehow, they had gotten him to give Logan the day off. Logan knew that Carlos was still mad at him for yelling at Stephanie (which Logan himself felt very bad about as soon as he had done it), but he had still done that for him. That was his best friends—they always looked out for each other, no matter how mad they might be, because they knew they wouldn't be mad forever.

But, for some reason, it looked like Camille might be mad at him for a long time. And he didn't even know why she was mad. "Camille, what did I do?" Logan finally asked, merging the Big Time Rush mobile onto the highway. "I haven't even said anything-."

"I _saw _you, Logan," she whispered very coolly. "You were talking to that nurse, and you kept looking over at me and so did she, and then she gave you the pamphlet that's in your back pocket right now—I saw you try to hide it. I don't know what they're about, but I know that whatever it is you guys think I have, you're _wrong_." She stopped talking as a wave of coughing overtook her, and she swatted away Logan's hand when he instinctively reached out to touch her.

Logan felt his face flush a crimson red. He had thought for sure she had been resting and not watching him. He had gone to talk to a nurse, because of what Stephanie had told him…

"…_one of her best friends was telling me that she's working out all the time and that she's not eating enough," Logan whispered to the nurse, glancing at his pale girlfriend lying on the hospital bed. "If I had known about it, I would have done something, but…"_

"_Honey, you shouldn't blame yourself," the nurse told him. "Look, from what you're telling me, this has been going on for about a month or so?"_

"_I don't really know, but I guess maybe…" _

"_It's good, then, that it got caught this early. She shouldn't have done too much damage to her system, and she can probably be brought back to a normal diet rather easily. Just thank your lucky stars for that friend of hers saying something." The nurse glanced over at Camille too. "We asked her for her weight while you were out in the lobby. It took a lot of pulling, but she finally told us it was 100 pounds." Logan couldn't keep the astonishment off his face. "Mmhm. You seem like a smart boy, I don't need to tell you that's not a healthy weight for a girl her height. Here," the nurse said suddenly, reaching into a pamphlet holder on a table. She pulled one out that was about eating disorders. "Maybe you and she should read this sometime. And if you—or she—think she needs any counseling, there are some numbers in here you can call."_

_Logan had thanked her and put the pamphlet quickly into his pocket before going back to Camille's side, where she mysteriously stopped speaking to him._

"Camille…" he finally said. "Look, I'm worried. Stephanie's worried, the guys are worried, those nurses and doctors were worried. You have to tell me what's going on that you would want do something like this to yourself."

"I'm not doing something to myself. You're making it sound bad!" Camille got herself a little worked up and started coughing again. "I'm not doing anything wrong. All I'm doing is working out."

"You're working out _too much_," Logan informed her. "There is such a thing, you know. Overworking yourself, not giving yourself a break…and working out when you're _sick_…that was really kind of dumb, Camille, admit it."

Logan's words stung Camille's pride and she sank back in her seat, hugging her knees to her chest. She stared glumly out the window as they got off the highway and pulled up to the Palm Woods. She tried to get out of the car, but forgot her seatbelt was on, nearly strangling herself. Logan calmly reached over and undid her seatbelt.

That earned him a vicious glare. Camille then opened her car door, stepped out quickly, and broke out coughing again. She doubled over as she saw spots dance in her vision.

Hurriedly, Logan got out of the driver's seat and went to her side. "Camille, do you think you can walk on your own?" She nodded, still coughing, and he took her hand to offer her some support. However, after a few steps, it was clear she was still too tired and weak to make any sort of progress on her own, so Logan picked her up (she was so light…), and carried her through the Palm Woods lobby.

Most of the people who had seen the dramatic ambulance pick up this morning were there now as well. When they saw Logan come in with Camille, a hush fell over the room, and Logan saw Camille's face grow an ever brighter red. He tried to hurry her through the lobby without attracting any more attention, but failed, as proven by the stares they received.

Luckily, both the elevator and the fourth floor hallway were clear of any people. Logan quickly got Camille to her own apartment and in her room, laying her down on her bed. "I'm going to go and get you a glass of water and some of your pills, okay?" Camille nodded, seemingly giving up on her angry mood towards him. Logan thought her eyes seemed very bright, but he thought he must have imagined it. "Change your clothes, okay, sweetheart? Put on your pajamas and I'll be right back. I'm going to take care of you."

He hurried out of the room and to the kitchen. He poured a glass of cold water from the filtered pitcher in the fridge and set out a dose of pills. As he was waiting to give Camille a chance to change, he noticed one of her composition notebooks on the counter. She always used them for taking notes on characters, or for notes in school. This one, however, didn't have anything labeled on the front. Something about that made Logan curious, and he flipped it open.

He was astounded to find a detailed description of everything Camille had eaten every day. Every single calorie taken in (never more than 900, most often less) was recorded, as was every calorie burned (a staggering 1500 per day average). He flipped through it, completely amazed at how precise everything was. And written in Camille's adorable handwriting, with hearts over the i's. He snapped it shut and rested his elbows on the counter, gripping his hair in his hands.

A sound from Camille's room got his attention. He almost called out to her, but then decided not to. He picked up the water and pills and slowly and quietly made his way down the hall to her bedroom.

Quickly opening the door, he found Camille on her neon green exercise ball, doing crunches. She stopped when she saw Logan in the doorway, and Logan stopped as well, seeing the tears rolling down her cheeks. Her tears cranked up when she saw him. Logan quickly put the glass of water and pills down on the dresser and pulled her from the ball and onto the bed. She was sobbing so hard, he didn't even realize she was trying to speak for a few seconds.

"Camille, shh," he shushed her, pulling her head to his chest and stroking her hair. "I can't understand you when you cry."

"I…I…" Camille sniffed deeply. "I don't want to do this anymore!" she cried, frustrated. "I want to stop. God, Logan, I want to stop, but I feel like I'm sliding down a hole and no one is here to help me, and instead they're just pushing me down further, and, and…"

"Camille. Camille!" Logan grabbed Camille's chin and turned her face to look at him. "I promise you that _I _will always be here, okay? I'm here to help you, no matter what. Do you know that?" Camille gulped and nodded, bursting into loud tears again and burying her face in Logan's chest.

Logan rocked her gently, stroking her hair. "It's over, okay?" he reassured her. "I'm here. It's all over now."

**So, this wasn't my best chapter ever. This is very hard for me to write, as it deals with a very personal side of me. So, if you were hoping for Camille to spiral down further into her eating disorder, I'm sorry, that would be waaay too hard and triggering for me to write. It's bad enough writing about it at this point. **

**Remember to vote in the poll on my profile! I want to hear from YOU!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Short chapter. Expect two more, and then this will be wrapped up!**

**Don't forget to vote in the poll on my profile page. There are four outlines—each centering around one of the boys from BTR. Be sure to vote, or you might be waiting awhile for your favorite! **

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Big Time Rush or any of its characters**

**WARNING: May be triggering.**

Camille spent a week in bed, recovering from her flu. When her dad came back from his camping trip, he was faced with the emergency room bill, but all he thought had happened was that Camille became dehydrated and fainted due to her high fever and flu—Camille had begged Logan not to give away her other "issues," as they were only allowed to be called. She refused to recognize what she had been doing as an eating disorder, but Logan's theory was as long as she was eating again and not excessively exercising, she could call it whatever she wanted.

But after that week, even when she was better again, something was still wrong. Camille was eating again, gaining back her lost weight, and doing all of this with just Logan's help because she refused any sort of counseling he brought up to her. She was doing well. But she had lost something…_Camille_ about her.

She stopped going to auditions. In fact, she stopped talking about acting at all. Logan was afraid to bring it up. He was so afraid of causing her any pain. But every time he saw other girls around the Palm Woods holding scripts or audition pages, he was reminded that if Camille didn't get a job soon, she'd be leaving in August.

One day in mid-July, the gang was hanging out by the pool. The guys were all swimming and splashing each other and having a grand time, while Stephanie and Camille were lounging in deck chairs. Logan, seated on Kendall's shoulders, was locked in a chicken fight with Carlos (on James's shoulders) and got distracted looking over at his girlfriend, chatting carelessly with her friend. She looked much happier than she had in the weeks she had been suffering, but she still didn't seem like herself.

This distraction was all Carlos needed to basically launch himself _off _of James and tackle Logan in midair, knocking him backwards off of Kendall. Logan was disoriented for a minute before he came up for air, coughing violently. Carlos popped up by him, as did Kendall. Kendall started pounding on Logan's back, trying to dislodge the water in his lungs, while Carlos just laughed hysterically.

"Aww, man, Logan, you shoulda seen your _face_!" Carlos laughed. He did an exaggerated imitation of Logan's face, while Logan finally stopped coughing.

"What are you trying to _drown_ him, Carlos?" Kendall scolded, and Carlos just stuck his tongue out. Kendall took that as a challenge, and threw himself at Carlos, starting an epic splash fight that James quickly joined, and Logan quickly extricated himself from.

Logan instead swam to the side of the pool and pulled himself out, walking over and sitting by Camille. "Hey," he began gently. Stephanie sensed in his tone that he wanted to be alone with Camille, and slipped away with a quick smile at her friends. She joined the guys in the pool and Camille took a deep breath before turning to look at Logan. It was almost like she knew what was coming.

"Camille, you're feeling better, right?" Logan asked. He had asked her this so many times, he knew it was annoying her, but he had to be sure. He was never sure anymore.

"I'm feeling great, Logan," Camille assured him. "You don't need to worry about me, alright?"

Logan took one of her hands in his and squeezed it. "I'll always worry about you," he murmured. "It's my job to make sure you're happy." He took a deep breath. "And that's why I want to know…why aren't you going to your auditions?"

"Because I haven't had any," she told him simply.

"Camille," he said, looking her straight in the eye. "There have been auditions for you. Rachel and the Jennifers have been doing auditions. There have been parts that you can play. You have to go to the auditions if you want to stay—."

"I'm not staying."

Logan blinked and stared in pure shock. Camille looked so sure of what she had just said—he must have misheard her. "Camille…what?"

Camille rearranged her hands so she was holding one of Logan's in both of hers. "I'm giving up. I just want to enjoy our last summer together. I'm not meant to be an actress."

The shock was still there. "But…b-but Camille, you…you love acting!" he stuttered. "No, you love it more than anything! You _are _meant to be an actress!"

"Clearly not!" Camille told him. "If I was meant to be an actress, I would have succeeded by now. Just like you and the guys did. Have you noticed that I've been here for three and a half years?" She shrugged. "I…I think I understand my dad now. The auditions, the nerves, the constant pressure to be just right…it's what caused me to…to get so out of control, Logan. I think I want to give up."

"You think?" Logan pressed her. "You only think?"

Camille bit her lip. "No…I…I know." She didn't sound like she knew at all. She stood up quickly. "Logan, I don't want to talk about this. I've…I've made my decision. Please…please don't talk to me about it, I don't think I can stand it. I'll talk to you later okay? We'll go out tomorrow night like you said, and we'll have the best summer ever and then I'll go back to Connecticut and be...be…be normal. Again." She gave him a shaky smile that looked ready to give way to tears, and hurried off.

Logan was too shocked to even move. He didn't even notice when Kendall, James, and Carlos swam to the edge of the pool and sat there, arms resting on the edge, looking at him. Finally, James couldn't stand it anymore.

"Did Camille just break up with you or something?" he asked, and Kendall elbowed him in the ribs.

Logan snapped himself out of his stupor. "No!" he exclaimed. "At least…no I don't think so…" The guys joined him on the deck chairs and he relayed to them what Camille had just told him.

"What?" Carlos shouted, when Logan finished. "What? That's crazy! I mean…Camille? Give up? She doesn't do that!"

"Yeah, she chased you for months before she finally wore you down, and she never even showed the slightest sign of giving up," James commented, earning another elbow, this time from Carlos.

"Guys, I'm sure she doesn't mean this," Logan told them. "She was practically crying and she couldn't say anything without sounding so full of doubt…" He looked at Kendall, who was pointedly looking at the ground. "Kendall, I need help. What do I do?"

Kendall sighed and shrugged. "I really don't know what to say except…maybe if that's what Camille wants…you should let her do it." He cleared his throat and scratched his ear, a nervous habit for him. "I mean…when your girlfriend wants to do something, sometimes you've got to let her…even if it breaks your heart." He looked at Logan and then at the other guys, who were all looking at him with knowing eyes. "You know…like me and Jo."

"Right…" Logan said, as James slapped a reassuring hand on Kendall's shoulder. But Logan didn't want what had happened to Kendall and Jo to happen to him and Camille. He knew the exact odds of long-distance relationships, and he also knew Camille. He knew Camille wanted to be an actress. She didn't want to go back to Connecticut. She couldn't.

But she wouldn't let him tell her that. Who would she listen to? Logan got an inkling of an idea and stood. "I'll see you guys in a little while," he told his friends. "I've got a phone call to make."

_Camille_

Sitting on her bed, still clad in her green bikini, Camille tried very hard to concentrate on breathing deeply and keep from crying. Every time she thought about her decision to move back to Connecticut, she felt her stomach constrict so painfully that she could hardly breathe and she felt so scared and unhappy it was almost unbearable.

She _didn't _want to give up. But she didn't have a choice. Her father was right. She wasn't going to make it. She couldn't spend her last summer in California locked up in studios, auditioning for roles she wouldn't get. She wanted to spend it with Logan and with her friends.

If only she hadn't failed…then she would have all the time in the world to spend with Logan and her friends. But she had, and now she was prepared to live with that.

**Again, sorry for the length, some great things happen in the last couple chapters, which will be up this week. **

**Don't forget to vote for my next story! Poll is on my profile page!**


	9. Chapter 9

**One more chapter after this—more of an epilogue really. Thanks for holding on for this long.**

**Don't forget to vote in the poll! I'm seriously at a four-way tie right now guys. HELP!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Big Time Rush or any of its characters.**

Camille yawned and snuggled deeper into her bed. It was a blissful Saturday morning and she was fast asleep for "just five more minutes…"

She was roused awake by frantic knocking on the front door of her apartment. Groaning, Camille pulled her pillow over her head, waiting for her father to answer whoever it was and make the annoying noise stop. All she wanted to do was sleep for a little longer before she had to go and talk to Logan and probably face him trying to talk her out of her plan to move back to Connecticut again.

_Oh God, it better not be Logan at the door_, Camille realized, and lifted her head ever so slightly to look at the clock on her bedside table. 9:15. Logan would be the only one of the guys up, so it seemed like a distinct possibility, and Camille buried herself back in her blankets.

The knocking had stopped, thankfully, and Camille shut her eyes, ready to go back to sleep…

Her bedroom door opened and Camille groaned. "Logan, it's too early," she complained, not even looking up. "I don't have any makeup on, my hair's a mess, can we please talk later?"

Someone laughed. A girlish giggle. Not Logan. "I think I'm probably more tired than you are, Cammie, so you might as well get up."

_No way_. Camille shot up in bed and looked towards her doorway. It was real! There was something she could have never expected!

"Jo!" Camille squealed and launched herself across the room in an amazing burst of energy, tackling her blonde best friend who had erupted in fresh giggles to match Camille's. The two girls stood there hugging enthusiastically for a few minutes, just too happy to speak. They hadn't seen each other in person in a year. Camille saw her father standing just past her doorway, smiling at the reunion. Camille grinned at him and then pulled away from Jo, holding her at arm's length.

"Oh my God, what are you doing here? You're in New Zealand!" Camille exclaimed. "How did you…why did you…Jo!" Camille gave her beautiful best friend another epic hug.

"Oh, gosh, Camille I'm so glad to see you!" Jo laughed, hugging just as tightly as Camille. Camille broke away again, and waved to her dad before closing her bedroom door and pulling Jo over to the bed. They both sat, cross-legged, facing each other.

"You look so great!" Camille told her. "You're so tan!" Camille grabbed one of Jo's arms and held it up to her own for comparison. "New Zealand must be so amazing—but why are you _here_?"

Jo took a deep breath and looked Camille square in the eye. "Logan called me."

That was something Camille had _not _expected. "What? What…what do you mean _Logan called you_?"

"He told me that you're giving in to your dad and letting him move you back to Connecticut. That you're not even going to try."

"Logan had _no right _to tell you that, and certainly no right to demand that you come back to LA and try to talk me out of it—"

"Logan doesn't even know I'm here," Jo assured her. "He wanted to ask me for advice on what to tell you. I have a week off from filming and I decided to fly up here to tell you this myself. He's probably going to be coming over sometime with a whole list of things that I was ranting on about when he told me about this." Jo grabbed her best friend's hand and gave her a serious look. "Camille, you can't give up."

"Jo…"

"No, listen to me. You _have _to keep acting. It's who you _are, _Camille. When I first came to the Palm Woods, I thought you were so amazing and inspiring with how _dedicated _you were to performing. And now you just want to give up? It's not fair, Camille. Not fair to you, not fair to _me_, not fair to all the people at the Palm Woods who look up to you."

"But…"

"Camille, _this is your dream_. This is all you've ever wanted. Everyone knows that. Why are you questioning it now?"

Camille felt tears threatening to spill over. "I'm not questioning my dream. I'm questioning my ability to achieve it," she admitted, sniffing. "I just don't think I have what it takes."

"Let me tell you something, Camille," Jo stated matter-of-factly. "You have _everything _that it takes. You have heart, you have dedication, you have _passion_. You're just presenting it in all the wrong ways."

"What do you mean?" Camille asked, looking at Jo with confusion in her eyes.

Jo sighed. "Camille, do you trust me?"

"Yes, of course."

"Then listen to me. You're going to the audition for that fall pilot that I know that you've read and that you love—no listen!" She held up a hand to stop Camille as she opened her mouth to protest. "You're going to the audition and that's final."

"But I don't have anything prepared!" Camille said desperately. "I haven't got any sort of character prepared or any costume or _anything_!"

"Then you'll go to the audition as _yourself_," Jo informed her. "You'll be Camille Roberts, amazingly talented 17-year-old actress who will blow these casting directors away with her _honest _acting ability." Jo looked at Camille with a smile. "You said you trusted me."

Camille took a deep breath and nodded. "I do. Okay. I'll do it."

_Logan_

It was around five in the evening in apartment 2J. "Her dad said she went to an audition," he was telling the guys as they all sat on the couch in the apartment. "I don't know what changed her mind!"

"Hey, you'll find out eventually," Kendall said absently, staring at the television intently. Logan rolled his eyes. James and Carlos were locked in an intense video game and Kendall got to play next. None of them even seemed to care about what Logan was saying.

_Knock knock knock._

Logan jumped up from the couch. "I'll get it!" he exclaimed and practically ran to the door, pulling it open to reveal a grinning Camille standing there, looking happier than ever.

"Camille!" he said happily, pulling her in for a hug. "Your dad said you were at an audition."

"Yeah!" she replied, sounding even happier than she looked. She pulled out of the hug to look at Logan. "And guess what. They want to see me again tomorrow!"

"Wow! That's great!" He kissed Camille quickly. "What made you change your mind about auditioning?"

Camille didn't say anything, but smiled and looked to her left. For the first time, Logan noticed who was there.

"_What?_" Logan exclaimed, his voice raising about five octaves, making both girls break out into giggles. He cleared his throat and shook his head to clear it. "What are you doing here?"

"I thought I could help better—being in the acting industry too," Jo explained. "No offense, but musicians don't really get how to do an actor's job." Jo and Camille smiled and laughed a little more.

"Taking a little offense to that," Logan admitted, but smiled. "Not a lot, but a little." Suddenly he realized something. "Uh…Jo," he murmured. "Kendall's just inside…"

Jo's smiled melted away and her mouth formed an "O," like she had just now thought of that. "Oh, my God…" she breathed. "I…I completely forgot, I was so worried about you," she said to Camille.

"Logan, is it Camille?" came James's voice from inside. "Let her in, for crying out loud, don't stand in the hall."

"Since when are you so polite, James?" Kendall retorted at him.

"I'm always polite!"

"Yeah, yeah, just hurry up and let Carlos beat you so I can play the game!"

"Kendall!" Logan called, hoping a fight wouldn't start. "Um…there's someone here for you , too."

"What?" Kendall asked, as he got up from the couch, and started walking to the door. "Who could be here for…me…" His voice faded away as Logan moved out of the doorway, pulling Camille inside with him, leaving Kendall with a perfect shot of Jo.

"Jo," was all Kendall could say. They both started walking towards each other, slowly. It was like something out of a movie. They reached each other, and Kendall took her hands in his, and tucked a strand of her long blonde hair behind one of her ears. Then, suddenly, they were kissing. Even James and Carlos had stopped playing their video game to cat call.

"Yeah! Kendall! Woo hoo!" Carlos whooped, nudging James who was just grinning at the scene. Logan put his arm around Camille. _If there ever was a happy ending…_ he thought.

Kendall and Jo pulled apart, finally. "Hey…" Kendall said to her, smiling happily at the equally smiley girl in his arms.

"Hey…" Jo answered back. They were still standing there when James let out a loud curse over on the couch.

"Dammit!" He tossed the controller on the coffee table. "Kendall, it's your turn."

Kendall didn't even look at James, just laughed and shook his head. "I'm good. I think I'm going to go for a walk." He laced his fingers through Jo's. "Join me?"

"Obviously," Jo answered, and the two of them walked out of the door, both looking over their shoulders to wave to Logan and Camille.

"Logan, you want a turn then?" James asked, inching his fingers towards the controller again.

Logan laughed. "It's all yours, buddy," he said, and James and Carlos were lost again to the world of video entertainment. Logan instead turned to Camille and raised an eyebrow. "I think we're supposed to be going out to dinner tonight, aren't we?"

"We are," she told him. "Do I look alright?" She posed for him in her blue dress—Logan's favorite—and black heels. Logan grinned.

"You look fantastic—like always." He called a quick goodbye to the guys on the couch and left the apartment with his arm around Camille. "So that's what you wore to the audition?" he asked. "What's the part?"

"Well…it's a new teen comedy and the part is a cheerleader mean girl," she admitted, a sly smile on her face. Logan was confused.

"But you have a cheerleader's costume, why would you wear this?" he asked. "Not that I don't like it…but don't you always—"

"I decided to just act," Camille told him, smiling up at him. "Apparently, you don't have to go all out in order to be an actress…sometimes you just have to…act."

Logan definitely didn't get it, but he liked that Camille was happy, so he smiled anyway. "I'm glad. Where do you want to eat?"

"Anywhere I can get a burger and fries," Camille admitted. "I'm freaking starving."

Logan smiled as they stepped into the elevator and the doors closed in front of them. _This_ was his Camille.


	10. Chapter 10

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Big Time Rush or any of its characters.**

_September 1__st_

"Logan! Logan, hey look this way!"

"Over here Logan! One shot!"

Logan groaned inwardly as he stepped out of his car in front of the restaurant. "Seriously, how do they know where to find me?" he asked. His beautiful girlfriend, exiting the car behind him, smiled and giggled.

"Logan, you tweeted 'taking my favorite girl to our favorite place tonight'…the paparazzi are smart enough to know that this is our favorite place. We _always_ come here." Logan smiled and put an arm around Camille's shoulder as they stopped to take a few pics.

"Fair enough," he admitted, smiling at the photographers. "You know…soon they'll be yelling _your _name."

"Oh hush," she murmured as they waved bye to the paps and went inside. "The show hasn't even aired yet."

"But, according to everyone, it's going to be a spectacular hit, isn't it?" he teased as they were shown to their table as soon as they entered. "And you, one of the stars—"

"Stop right there," Camille shushed him, smiling. "I'm not the star, you know that."

"I said _one _of the stars. And your name is in the opening credits isn't it? That's a star. Plus, you're the mean girl. The villain. Everyone _loves _a good villain, isn't that what you've been saying for the past few weeks?" He grinned at her over his menu as she tried to suppress another smile.

"I don't want to jinx it," she admitted, sticking her tongue out at him and ducking behind her own menu. "This show _has _to go well." She folded the menu and placed her arms on the tabletop. "I _love _it, Logan!" she squealed quietly. "It's so much fun playing the mean girl. Does that sound bad?"

"No way," Logan grinned. "I know that it's fun being the bad boy—remember that time a couple years back when Griffin demanded that there be a bad boy in the group and we were all trying so hard to be it?"

"Ugh, and then 'Wayne-Wayne' showed up and tried to ruin everything," Camille added, putting air quotes around the name. "God, he is such a fake. I can't believe he's in that kid's group _still_."

They both laughed at that. "Camille…I'm so glad we're here," he said, staring at her.

"Where else would we be?" she asked, looking confused. "I mean…I guess we could have gone to that new restaurant across town, but isn't James there with _his _date tonight?"

"No, I mean…" Logan grabbed her hand. "I'm glad you're still here in LA and that we're still together and we _can _go on these dates and be happy."

Camille blushed and smiled down at the table. "I'm going to be honest," she said quietly. "I thought I was going home for sure. Even when I got all the callbacks, even when I got the part, I didn't really believe I would stay. I'm still half-expecting to wake up some morning with a message that the show is cancelled and my dad's waiting there with our suitcases to fly back to Connecticut."

"Don't worry like that," Logan told her. "The show is great. You're great. Your dad knows that. And besides, school's already started." He grinned slyly. "Your dad wouldn't want to plunk you down in a new school after the year's already started, would he?"

"I guess not," Camille chuckled back. "I'm glad we're here too."

Logan ran his thumb tenderly over the knuckles of the hand he was holding. "You did it, Camille," he said softly. "You made it."

**Dumb ending, I know, but hey, I finished it! Tell me what you think. Thanks for reading :)**

**Don't forget to vote on my profile for what you want to see next!**


End file.
